My best/worst quality… Stubborness

I’ve been battling a pretty bad fever the last few days. Sorry for the lack of posts.
I’ve been told time and time again how stubborn I am. It works at times to either my advantage or disadvantage. Although, I like to think to my advantage.
When I was 16 and my mom found out I was pregnant, she gave me the whole lecture. “Do you realize how hard it is? Do you know how much diapers or a can of formula costs?” But I was head strong on going through with it and being a damn good mother. I got married and moved out because my mom said she wouldn’t live with a crying baby. It wasn’t until I had my first ultrasound at 21 weeks that I was told I was having twins. That’s when my mom came around and changed her mind. She hated my husband and wanted nothing more than for me to move in with her and help me. And yet, I wanted to do it on my own. I wanted to prove people wrong.
My mom even insisted on 2 weeks off after the birth to stay at my apartment with me and help, I declined.
I took on caring for twins at 17 without a complaint, by myself (with a worthless husband.) I look back at the experience now and wonder how I did it. It was so hard but I was so determined to make everyone think that I was doing it all without a single problem. I was constantly stressed and worried and tired. Now, I wish I had just accepted the help, but then again I am so terribly stubborn.
I’ve been so stubborn that I have ruined relationships.
So in some ways this dominant trait of mine can work against me. There have been times I thought I was right in certain arguments or disagreements with a friend. I absolutely refused to see their side of the story. Let’s just say i have a hard time walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. I have been working on trying to use it only to my advantage, to learn to pick my battles and know when I’m wrong.
I still have a hard time accepting help but over time I’ve found myself in sticky situations and realized I can either struggle or accept a little help.
All in all its a battle I am working on and I have a great support system to help with that. I’m thankful for my family and friends. They truly keep me smiling.
Thanks for reading everyone,
Portia

Twins, twins, twins!

Marley Kay Martinez: Born September 27th, 2008 at 5:01 p.m weighing 5.1 pounds.
Kira Lee Martinez: Born September 27th, 2008 at 5:04 p.m. weighing 5.4 pounds.

You read right… 5:01/5.1 and 5:04/5.4  That’s the most amazing coincidence ever, don’t ya think?

Marley is a follower.  She does what her sister says and she’s quite the push over.  She takes the fall for her sister all the time.  If Kira did something wrong, Marley will take the blame for it.  So as you can tell, she is a sweetheart by nature.  She is the first to say sorry and is always loving on her sister.
Kira, on the other hand, is dominant.  She’s bossy, she’s the leader, and she is almost always the one that comes up with all the mischievous plans.  She isn’t all bad, though.  She is very loving and she takes care of her sister. She won’t think twice about yelling at anybody that my have done her sister wrong.

I’ve been told by multiple babysitters and people in general, that they are the best behaved children they have watched.  They know their manners and they use them.  I may have been 17 when I had them, but I’m doing something right.  I think as a mother there has to be a balance between knowing when to discipline your children and when to let things go.  My parents were very strict with me and my brothers growing up.  The littlest of offenses could be a month of grounding or a decent spanking.  Anything from not vacuuming my room to eating food without permission was on the same level as lying or stealing.  It was tough but I did learn an infinite amount of knowledge about parenting from it.  With my children, I know when to give them a little spanking, send them to their room, or have a decent discussion about what they did wrong.

My kids don’t cry when they aren’t allowed to get something at the store and they definitely don’t throw tantrums in public.

Don’t get me wrong, no matter how well disciplined any child might be, they all have their days.  My girls are not always perfectly behaved by any means.  Especially around me.  It drives my husband crazy that they will be total brats when I am home, but I will leave them with Cody when I go to work. They are magically turned into perfect angels.  He says when I am not there they do what they are told and are quite polite.  I’ve also been told this by almost anyone that watches them.

Enough bragging and on to my other thoughts on twins.

I often get asked, “Is it harder to have twins?”  “How do you do it?”

Answer to the the second question: Simple, I have no choice but to figure it out.It’s hard for me to answer the first question.  First of all, the only children I have are my twins.  So would I know?  Secondly, it is and it isn’t, let me explain.
The best way to describe it is for the first two year it’s hard.  I mean really hard.  I’m talking no sleep.  You don’t get one sick child.  You don’t change one diaper.  You don’t make one bottle.  Imagine everything you have to do with one baby and double it.  It is truly tough.
However, imagine watching two children learn how to roll over, sit up, laugh, crawl, walk, talk, speak all at separate times and in separate ways, with different personalities.  It’s such a beautiful experience.

After two years old, it’s a breeze.  They constantly have their best friend.  Everyday is a sleep over.

I recently went to a friend’s house and she has one daughter that’s 3.  Holy exhausting! “Mommy play dolls with me.”  “Mommy watch t.v. with me.”  I couldn’t help but ask her, “How do you do it?”

My kids play outside together, they watch t.v. together, they color together, they play dolls together.  As bad as this may sound, they hardly ever need me.  Of course, I do spend as much time playing and enjoying their company as I can.  But they have someone more on their level that is always there. Sometimes I seriously feel more like a cook than a mother.

So my answer to the first question is yes and no.  Who knows what my answer could be a few years from now. I can’t decided if I am more scared or excited to find out.

Warning: To all those women who dream of having identical twins so they can dress them alike and have two adorable duplicates, I’m about to (hopefully no more than mildly) annoy you.

My girls never dress alike other than for family photos, but who doesn’t.  My children have two distinctly separate personalities.  I wouldn’t go as far as to say that they are day and night because in many ways they are similar.  They share the same interests.  However, Marley’s favorite color is pink, Kira’s is purple (or brown.)  Marley prefers to wear dresses, Kira likes skirts.  
Aside from the few times that my family (more specifically my mother, who is one of those people who thinks twins should dress the same) buys them matching clothes, they pick out what clothes they like and they choose what to wear for the day.  Very rarely will they choose matching clothes but when they do it’s something along the lines of choosing the same shirt but different bottoms.  

 

So basically all I can say from what experience I have, twins are fun. I wouldn’t want it any other way, besides the fact that I am downright baby hungry and I desperately want to have another. Deep down I know the timing is just not right. If any of you have questions I would be more than happy to answer them, especially any other mothers of twins. I love my girls, I love my life. Tomorrow’s topic is going to be a funny one, for me at least. So keep reading!
Laugh on…
Portia